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Some say the end is near
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon
I certainly hope we will
I sure could use a vacation from this

Bullshit three-ring
Circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call L.A.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away
Any fucking time, any fucking day
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your Prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car

It's a
Bullshit three-ring
Circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call L.A.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away
Any fucking time, any fucking day
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay

Some say a comet will fall from the sky
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves
Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits

And some say the end is near
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon
I certainly hope we will
I sure could use a vacation from this
Stupid shit, silly shit, stupid shit

One great big festering neon distraction
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied
Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim
'Cause Mom's gonna fix it all soon
Mom's comin' 'round to put it back the way it ought to be

Learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim

Fuck L. Ron Hubbard and
Fuck all his clones
Fuck all these gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes

Learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim

Fuck retro anything
Fuck your tattoos
Fuck all you junkies and
Fuck your short memories

Learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim

Yeah, fuck smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas
Fuck these dysfunctional
Insecure actresses

Learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim
Learn to swim, learn to swim

'Cause I'm praying for rain
I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way
I wanna watch it all go down

Mom, please flush it all away
I wanna see it go right in and down
I wanna watch it go right in
Watch you flush it all away

Yeah, time to bring it down again
Yeah, don't just call me pessimist
Try and read between the lines
I can't imagine why you wouldn't
Welcome any change, my friend

I wanna see it come down
Put it down
Suck it down
Flush it down